Thankyou for clicking on the link.Now that you are here, you will see life from my eyes with the hope that what i write inspires you since I was also inspired.
Nakumbuka tukisema tutakua na watoto wawili But now from where am sitting looking back, hio ilikua story ya jaba kati ya watu wawili See they always say when you find a poet, just know they love deep When you find a poet,to love,she or he is one for keeps But right now looking back I felt to you like a long entertaining ad until it was time to press skip Na vile nlikupenda maze for once in my life coz of someone I lacked sleep I recall my friends being like now that smile Shawty hasn’t been this genuinely happy in while Not knowing it was only upto a certain mile Yaani adi nkaambia dunia nzima please msinirogee uyu Not knowing how you meant to me wasn’t how I meant to you Wakisema ukitafta mapenzi Nairobi jua wewe ni fala And true to that, it’s like I missed that class how I learn my lesson enyewe nlikua nmelala For the first time when I was wrong I saw my fault and humbled myself to a man I could apologise Nlkua simp crazy adi I had a whole playlist of your voice notes that I’d listen to and fantasise And whoever said love is blind did not actually lie as am now coming to realise Na najua mnanijua kama poet wa maheartbreaks yule wa it always ends in her tears But I promise you no more crying as all of that ends here At times eneywe you pour out so much into someone until you have no more love to give Unless it’s platonic then that’s how far in this love life you’ve decided to live Kuna wale husema keep trying one day you will find the one But in reality maybe you weren’t made for anyone Yaani adi me hukaa chini najiuliza ama was I too emotional Or maybe I was too involved with him not to notice he wasn’t, was I just delusional? Yaani for the first time in my life I felt like I’d finally found my person The one who didn’t just bring a sparkle but lit my whole heart up, my arson The first time in my life I felt like I was in a safe space And believed that there was nothing we could not face My delusional self had thought that I had found my home A home so strong that was able to shelter me from life’s storm There are days that I go back to our chats and stare at them in disbelief My friends are like hey, you dodged yet another bullet you should feel some relief But again at the back of my mind am like what if… Like how do you love a person so much that you’re willing to work through everything with them But they don’t feel the same way not want the same thing,isn’t love like a global anthem? But hey, vile wazungu at times husema, maybe it wasn’t meant to be And like the street code, I really wish I had a plan B Maybe then I would feeling this so much hurt As even if it wouldn’t be you, they’d still be someone who would comfort my bleeding heart While at it my brain keeps echoing, next time use me first be smart.Nakumbuka tukisema tutakua na watoto wawili But now from where am sitting looking back, hio ilikua story ya jaba kati ya watu wawili See they always say when you find a poet, just know they love deep When you find a poet,to love,she or he is one for keeps But right now looking back I felt to you like a long entertaining ad until it was time to press skip Na vile nlikupenda maze for once in my life coz of someone I lacked sleep I recall my friends being like now that smile Shawty hasn’t been this genuinely happy in while Not knowing it was only upto a certain mile Yaani adi nkaambia dunia nzima please msinirogee uyu Not knowing how you meant to me wasn’t how I meant to you Wakisema ukitafta mapenzi Nairobi jua wewe ni fala And true to that, it’s like I missed that class how I learn my lesson enyewe nlikua nmelala For the first time when I was wrong I saw my fault and humbled myself to a man I could apologise Nlkua simp crazy adi I had a whole playlist of your voice notes that I’d listen to and fantasise And whoever said love is blind did not actually lie as am now coming to realise Na najua mnanijua kama poet wa maheartbreaks yule wa it always ends in her tears But I promise you no more crying as all of that ends here At times eneywe you pour out so much into someone until you have no more love to give Unless it’s platonic then that’s how far in this love life you’ve decided to live Kuna wale husema keep trying one day you will find the one But in reality maybe you weren’t made for anyone Yaani adi me hukaa chini najiuliza ama was I too emotional Or maybe I was too involved with him not to notice he wasn’t, was I just delusional? Yaani for the first time in my life I felt like I’d finally found my person The one who didn’t just bring a sparkle but lit my whole heart up, my arson The first time in my life I felt like I was in a safe space And believed that there was nothing we could not face My delusional self had thought that I had found my home A home so strong that was able to shelter me from life’s storm There are days that I go back to our chats and stare at them in disbelief My friends are like hey, you dodged yet another bullet you should feel some relief But again at the back of my mind am like what if… Like how do you love a person so much that you’re willing to work through everything with them But they don’t feel the same way not want the same thing,isn’t love like a global anthem? But hey, vile wazungu at times husema, maybe it wasn’t meant to be And like the street code, I really wish I had a plan B Maybe then I would feeling this so much hurt As even if it wouldn’t be you, they’d still be someone who would comfort my bleeding heart While at it my brain keeps echoing, next time use me first be smart. #poetry #love
In the room it was all quiet as I sadly looked at him
He had called because he wanted to blow off some steam
But the minute he broke down I knew that was not what it had seem
I stood up,took his hand pulled him up and locked him in my embrace
“Babe, whatever you think, during this moment, I am not letting you alone this demise face”
I embraced him even tighter, consider me as your safe space
There is no way for one to deal with the loss of a loved one
Deep down I know we all wish this dark cloud go, like if it was able to be undone
That grief just makes you want from this world want to run
But am here for you just to let you know I will gladly be your crying shoulder
Take all the time you need am here for you until you get bolder
I then sat next to him and gently held his hand
Despite all of us having faced losses, we can never say the pain of another we understand
We just have to be there for them as they go through the worst moment of their life
Death by far if anything we know is the toughest strife
JUST LISTEN…
I sat there in the corner alone with my hot chocolate and laptop
It was heavily raining outside I almost thought it would never stop
I then see my cousin celebrating their 3year relationship anniversary as I scroll through my phone
I smile but then get lost in thoughts of my own
Will I ever have such? I am even surprised if someone talks to me for longer than a week
Because it never lasts more than three days before we get to never again speak
Hand on my chin, am I the problem? Is there something that is always wrong?
I sip again my hot chocolate and almost spit it shit that sugar is strong
I hadn’t noticed. So am just over here wondering when will someone ever want to be with me forever
Or maybe am one of the few that the universe chose to just write about love but to experience it we’d never
I was so lost in my thoughts I had not noticed someone had sat at my table
At this point, I felt as if my brain was a browser with so many tabs running, or maybe am mentally unstable?
I snapped out of it when I heard a hello miss
Huh? No there’s nothing a miss
Gosh… embarrassing right? He shook his head as he smiled
Oh sorry, hello…uh…yeah
You seem like you’re just here physically but mentally somewhere else
Can I ask you a question? When you look at me, I even stood up, is there something that you find less?
Am I beautiful? And please be honest, my face has a lot of marks right? Pimples. Dark spots? I knew that soap was not working
I know my stomach is a bit big, I am still looking for a tummy detox tea,
He was lost as he kept on staring at me like I was crazy
Or maybe I was, that is the reason why no one ever stays, I am so flawed, who would want to be with someone like me?
He stood up and I knew he was leaving as I said, no one can even sit next to me for five minutes. Story of my life
He came to sit on my side and held my hand and gently asked, are you okay?
It was at this moment that I knew there was so much that I had held in and like a pressure cooker it all blew up and I broke down tears
In between my sobs as he placed his hand on my shoulders I said, I find it so hard to conquer my fears
And everyone I fall in love with no matter how invested I am, still manages to leave
I give my heart, my soul, my body even at times the money, and still left here wondering what else I am supposed to give?
Because I am… I must be the problem I guess, I believe
“Are you ready? “she asked. “Well… to be honest, I am not. I am little bit nervous. What if things don’t turn out well? “she replied as she placed her laptop on a desk. “God will prevail. We already prayed for this sweetheart. Let me get you a cup of coffee” “Thanks mom, “she sighed while she sat staring at the blank laptop. This was Susan Marshall, a young middle aged lady whose father was brutally murdered in front of their home one morning while he was leaving for work. It has been 2 years since the main suspect was arrested and today, was the day of the ruling of the case. Due to the pandemic, the court So proceedings were to be held virtually, with the judge and the accused in court on the other side of the screen. To Susan and her mother, this was not easy for them since they had to wait for two years to get justice and this only meant that some wounds could be opened. She was the only daughter and child of the now deceased Mr. Peter and Patricia Marshall. Their only hope was that the accused would be declared guilty and to pay for his heinous crime, even if that meant it would not bring back her father. As her mother, walked back in the room with her coffee, she was on phone with their lawyer who was also going to be present for the ruling from his side of the screen. “Yes attorney, I have just logged in but the host is yet to start the meeting…I am hopeful things will go our way, with our very concrete evidence. I am sure he will get the sentence he deserves…okay thank you. See you in a bit. Hey mom, thanks for the coffee. You sure you don’t want to join in?” Patricia shook her head as she responded, “No my love, you will let me know how it goes.” A few minutes later the zoom meeting or court proceeding had already begun as the judge was reading out the criminal case Lewis Mirland, hereinafter referred as the accused person is facing a charge of murder contrary to Section 203 as read with Section 204 of the penal code. In brief he was stated to have murdered Peter Marshall on the morning of April 20th 2018 outside his house, located at Rosewood street, Valley land County The accused pleaded not guilty to the charge compelling the prosecution to summon witnesses to discharge the burden of proof beyond reasonable doubt. Accused was represented at the trial by Mr. Nelson an Advocate, while the prosecution was being conducted by the senior prosecution counsel Mr. Austin. The case for the prosecution is set out in detail by the twenty-one witnesses summoned by the state. The summary of the evidence as captured by the witnesses is set out herein under as follows: PW1 Susan Marshall, the daughter to the deceased who testified and recounted the events of that morning on 20th April 2018 as she was coming back from her morning run. In her testimony she said that as she was nearing their home she had seen her father and the accused talking before the conversation took a different turn and the accused immediately pulled out what looked like a riffle shooting Mr. Marshall in the head twice before fleeing the scene According to PW1 testimony who, she rushed to the scene upon meeting PW2 Mrs. Patricia Marshall who had also heard the noise from inside the house.PW1 further stated that she immediately dialled the paramedics for help while the deceased lay there bleeding profusely…” Susan muted the meeting from her side as she whispered to her mother, “it is like repeating the whole ordeal all over again and with details. How I wish they would just fast forward to the ruling.” Mrs. Marshall just smiled as she sat some distance from the meeting while knitting. One hour later, it was time for the ruling. Both Susan and Patricia looked anxious. Susan held her breath while the judge came to his conclusion “Accordingly, I enter a verdict of not guilty and do hereby resolve the benefit of doubt in favour of the accused person by acquitting him of what could be the substituted offence of manslaughter contrary to section 100 as read with section 400 of the Penal Code. He is at liberty unless otherwise lawfully held.” Throwing the laptop on the floor while screaming, “NOOOOOOOOO!! It can’t be!! He is guilty! It can’t be mom!!” Patricia restrained Susan as she was about to break the whole laptop. ‘Sweetie it is okay. Calm down. Calm down. We shall figure this out. Calm down, “Patricia tried to console her uncontrollably crying daughter. Susan suddenly disengages from her mother’s embrace and gets her phone and quickly dials a number while she wipes off the tears, “Hello… yes what happened back there?… what was not clear to that judge? I saw that guy murder my father in cold blood, described everything in details not even contradicting myself…what do you mean money? Justice over money? I want us to appeal…no… I… I don’t care how long that will take. He has to pay. He has to pay for his crime…Austin what connections does he have? Is he the president’s son? Go to hell! “she angrily hung up. “Honey calm down, relax let us think about this first. Calmly. Look you are even shaking my dear,” her mother told her looking very worried. Susan stood quiet for like a minute then clicked her finger shouting, “aha! Connections it is. Mom, do you have Mr Proter’s number? His son is the director of criminal investigations right?” Her mother stared at her with that worried face and you could tell she thought Susan had lost her mind. Hugging her mother, she said, “mom, do not worry I will fix this. I will honour dad. I will not let him down. He believed in me. We will fix this. It is not over. Let me step out a bit. Don’t forget to send me that number.” For the next weeks, Susan tried to reach out to many of her father’s friends but none of them was willing to help her with her case. “She spends most of her hours locked up in her room on her laptop, she does not want to eat on other occasions, my sister I don’t know what to do anymore. She won’t let this whole finding justice thing go. That is why I called you. She always listens to you,” Mrs. Marshall told her sister Monica who had come to see Susan after her worrying behaviour since her dad’s murder ruling. “well you know she was daddy’s girl. They were like two peas in a pod. Inseparable. Plus, her Peter’s business collapsing after his death when she was believed to be the next one in line must have had a toll on her. Have you tried therapy maybe? Because she cannot obviously open up to you,” Monica replied As she was about to respond, suddenly Susan walked out of her room and both Monica and Patricia look astonished. “Susan, honey, what is the meaning of all this?” Patricia asked “Mom don’t be shocked. We all change our personal style once in a while. I am going on a date. There’s this guy I met, I think I should try him out. Plus, you always wanted me to get out of the house. Your wish is my command,” She replied as she adjusted her wig. “Patricia, let her go and enjoy herself. She looks… well… different, not just with the makeup but also the whole wig but still let her get out of the house for once,” said Monica “Monica you see how she looks. Is it a date or an undercover assignment? You never even wear makeup, it is not your thing, plus yo…” “uh, shh shh, yes hello handsome, yes I am actually on my way…yess.” Susan interrupted her mother as she walked out on phone. ‘Always good to see you Aunt Mo’ as she closed the door behind her
Pulling the chair for her, “Please, do have a seat beautiful” “Thank you,” replied Susan. “Nice choice of restaurant. It must be really expensive here huh ?’she added. “Not as expensive as you Carey. You look ravishing by the way, you have captured my attention, I don’t know how I will even speak to the waiter, I mean I can’t look away, “the gentleman responded. They both laugh as Susan acts shy. “Are you a poet? Because if you are, buy me a bottle of moet,” Susan jokes as they both laugh once more “ Oh so is this how it’s going to be? A rhythmic conversation huh? Rhymes after rhymes. Am game pretty lady,” “You started it so…anyways tell me about yourself. Who is this Mr hot stuff, at least that’s what you put on tinder, which you are by the way. But am not shooting my shot, just stating the obvious” “someone has a crush on me already I see, well Mr hot stuff, is a simple guy with nothing to know really. With time, am sure you will understand me. There will be a next time right?” She smiled as she replied, “don’t be too fast to conclude. Maybe I am not so impressed. Tell me, Mr. Hot stuff, any crimes under your name? I wouldn’t want to be hanging around a felon you know? Maybe I might also get caught as an accomplice or something?” He laughs while she grins staring at him “I didn’t know she had a sense of humour…okay… I once got a ticket for DUI. It was a crazy night and I was a bit wasted. So yeah.” She was still looking as if waiting for him to say something else before the waiter came with their orders “I had made reservations so I had ordered what you had told me was your favourite food. Quesadillas and ice tea” Still on him, “anything else?”she asked. “No, unless you want anything else you can still place your order. They can make an exception because youre with me,”he replied as he grabbed his spoon “Lucky me huh? But I meant like you have never committed any other crime? You can trust me by the way, you know I have once stabbed someone… but it was self defence he wanted to attack me.. so yeah, tell me, any blood on your hands? Maybe you shot someone… someones dad…maybe uh… in the head…” He looked a bit uneasy as he sipped his soup before talking, “well…” he coughs “I… I am sure you’ve read the blogs and tabloids about me but none of it is true. I did not shoot that Mr. Marshall guy, I was acquitted. Not guilty. I know being the son to a famous politician comes with a lot of negative publicity. Don’t believe what you read out there. I haven’t even been in jail. All lies, I wonder why the daughter of the slain man had to make up a false testimony. But it is all in the past now. Am not a criminal. Carey are you okay?” Susan was gasping for air as she quickly stood up, “I need to go to the washroom” “okay… are you fine? I am here in case… you know what let me call my doctor “nervous Lewis took out his phone. A few days later, at a city park, Susan and her father’s killer, Lewis were on yet another date. Slowly she believed she was getting closer to him so as to figure out a good time to execute her revenge plan. Lewis put on a song and began to dance As she smiled, “wait is that Marvin Gaye? I love his music. He is my favourite. Do you also know his all-time famous… let’s …” “GET IT ON!!” both said it at the same time while smiling at each other. He grabbed her hand, “may I have this dance pretty lady?” Hesitant Susan replied, “you want to dance here? In front of everyone? We are in a public place” “Well I don’t see anyone but just the two of us” as he pulled her up and grabbed her by her waist. An Ice cream man cycled past them, Lewis quickly called him, “I would like some vanilla sorbet while the lady can have whatever she likes” As he was being handed his, he suddenly smears it all over Susan’s face. Susan reciprocates and it turns into a game of Ice cream smearing before they both laugh as they fell on the grass “I have never felt this much fun in a long time.” Said Susan. Lewis turned to face her as he caressed her face, “did I tell you what beautiful eyes you have? And how your smile lights up the whole place when am with you? I talked to my mom abou you. She would love to meet you… of course when you are ready no rush” Susan shied away as she smiled. She looked at her wrist watch and immediately gets up, “I have to go now” “Okay beautiful, “he quickly carries her while running as she laughs struggling to get down “Lewis put me down, What will people say? Put me down” as people stared at them others taking pictures “I love this lady. So bloggers here is a positive story for you today. I love this lady” He shouted as he finally put her down. Susan and Lewis did not see each other for the next couple of weeks and Susan was always locked in her room. There were days when she’d come out but only head to the kitchen grab a packet of chips and back to her room until they were finished. As she was having breakfast with her mother one morning. “Honey, forgive my intrusion but what happened between you and that guy you said you were seeing? You no longer go out. You’re no longer happy. Did he hurt you?” Patricia asked Susan was quiet. She was hesitant to speak and it looked like she was struggling to find the words “Mom, there’s a pandemic out there. Just trying to stay safe, “she replied “Let’s see, those days you were going out and staying late there was no pandemic? Just talk to me. Am still your friend sweetie, please” She looked down as if she was about to cry, “I fell in love mom. I fell in love with this fool and that was not part of the plan. He is a bad person and he still managed to get me to fall for him, “she said. Before her mother replied there was a car hooting in front of their house. Patricia got up, “Let me go see who it is. Am sure its nobody” One minute later Patricia was heard shouting from outside and Susan quickly rushed to see what that was all about. It was Lewis holding a bouquet of flowers and a gift bag “What do you want here?!! You murderer! As if killing my husband wasn’t enough!! How did you find our new home huh? Unbelievable!! I am calling the police how dare you!!” she was rushing back in as Susan stood there in shock. “Carey? wait… you are that daughter of the man… God, I should’ve known… no wonder you looked a bit familiar under all the heavy makeup and wigs that you wore, “Lewis shouted “Susan, why is this murderer calling you Carey?… wait… it is him right? You have been going to bed with the one person you are supposed to hate… he took away your father, what were you thinking? HE KILLED YOUR FATHER!! I am disappointed in you!” Patricia cried as she angrily hit her. “You even had the nerve to fall in love with him!!” Susan sobbed as she covered her face not knowing what to say “ What was the end goal? Revenge? Huh? Make me fall in love with you then what?” a disappointed Lewis stood there “Or better yet since am right here before you, why don’t you just kill me. Let us end this. Justice would be served right? Because, when your father sent one of his goons to kill my father who had cancer by the way because he wanted out of their partnership, I was wrong to seek justice the best way I know how. I would understand if you want justice too but a heartbreak is the worst form of injustice. So… Susan Marshall, kill me, “a sobbing Lewis stood there Suddenly a gunshot was heard inside the Marshall’s home and both Lewis and Susan rushed inside.
She called it mind travel Where she would meet her spirit in her thoughts and just marvel That’s when you found her sitting and blankly stare Not at anything or anyone but in the air She sure was a complicated one but beautiful just like a rubik square And she had a unique soul that with nobody would you compare Her body was present but her soul was not there At that moment alot was going on in her mind And all she wanted to peace just find On another day,you would find her in the bathroom Crying in there alone was her way of dealing with her gloom She also had her happy days when she would laugh,smile And you could see in her eyes joy was something she never had in a while She was a victim of emotional and mental imbalance To deal with this at times she would smoke some substance Then only then she would open up and talk about her circumstance At times she needed music in her ears Music was the one thing that tamed her tears And some genres resonated with her fears In that element you’d find her with pen and paper and she described how she would feel That was her way of making her emotions and mind real Another way of how with her issues she chose to deal She loved being in her zone Her mental peaceful place where all her troubles were gone
Well…This is my love story Oh wait.. let’s call it my love history So I found my first true love in campus This bond was so true I doubt anything we wouldn’t surpass He was half Chile Half Kenyan And as you also think,yes this was one handsome human See there’s something about finding someone who loves you with the same energy Because that’s the happiest you’ll ever be Our love was pure yet simple So cheezy that he would even compliment my dimple When it became long distance I had my insecurities Despite him proving time after time that it’s me am his priorities I still went too far pushed him away and that’s how him I lost The pain the regret I tried to get him back at all cost But it was a done and dusted case so to my first love I make a toast Fast forward to my second true love I loved him with everything that I could day I have But there’s also a problem with loving someone too much It’s like giving them your heart in their hand and at any time they please they could crunch There were days I felt like he loved me the same But there are days his actions threw red flags at me making me think we were just a game He was good in bed,you know,that guy that roughs you up,my sexual desires he would tame That was my hook,I loved him wanted him like crazy I used to tell him that like a confession The day we broke up,boy wasn’t I plunged into depression I never stopped to think he could be wrong it was always my fault Him leaving me got me hooked on a drug since he put my life on hault If you’re in a relationship where for every mistake even when it’s not yours, you’re the one who says sorry first You won’t even hear thee knock at the door when reality strikes you telling you he cares about you last That shit is toxic as fuck It will mess you up into thinking love is got by luck And that is how you find that you can’t let go on that feeling you remain stuck Use me as an example,he left and came back like he didn’t leave And my body my spirit to him I did still give But this time he left me with another human How to be a good mother and father at the same time upto now am still trying to discern So While I was walking around these love street Little did I know someone else I would meet He was a charmer for sure he said everything sweet He went on and on about how this meat he would beat I sure was smitten And everytime I heard his voice became playful as a kitten The vibe we had was totally divine Even though what exactly this was neither of us had define Then came the red flags How I would ignore them voices in my head were like watching just for laugh gags I would hear my voice called logic But not listen, safe to say I was somewhere along the deep end I was truth phobic I knew everything was off but I was afraid I would break But then the truth,I was just a side show came out and I was like oh well,what the Heck If I had fully succumbed,once again I would be an emotional wreck So what now?On love do I give up? Or maybe this love is like a treasure hunt and I don’t even have the map Well, hey don’t rush you’re a beautiful soul And soon you will find someone who will love you with his all In the meantime,follow your dreams,your goals don’t sit or on your future let it stall #poetess#poet#writer#love
He filled my glass with wine as he sat beside me So what’s this going to be? Let’s say going down memory lane Oh,and Just to say this on record, with you I’d live this life all over again Through the joys and the pain Every loss and every gain Because how you make me feel I still can’t find words to explain With you,I would definitely do it again I laughed as I showed you my phone, remember our first date? How could I forget,I came in very very late With the excuse that you had lost your keys to your apartment’s main gate But amidst all that confusion I guess you being here means I still bagged that medal of a first impression I still can’t believe you recorded our first kiss Let me tell you why, see everytime we were apart,I would play it just knowing those lips were what I miss He suddenly played my favorite song Smiling I was like, this and chocolates, was your forgiveness ticket everytime you did me wrong Looking at me as he reached for his back pocket handing me a bar of chocolate,I am glad I can still make you smile Receiving it,keep doing this and I see us still going strong to the extra mile I got up with a paper in my hand and began, he said look into my eyes He joined saying, because that is where your beauty lies He laughed, the first poem for me you dedicated Fun fact I always read that whenever I meditated Especially when we had broken up a bit Slowly sitting back beside him, yes we always argued at that time I thought that was it But look at us now,his hand around my shoulder,it just proved that we are the imperfect fit We did our usual pinky swear,till the end of time To be your ride or die till the tyres wear off my dime
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